A Love Story Told On Napkins

As I was going through my grandparents' 50th Wedding Anniversary Album the other night, my mom and I got to talking about them. She told me the stories she's heard from when they first began dating.

My grandparents both lived in Seattle in the late 1920s and early 1930s. My grandparents met through the catholic church that they both attended.

Margaret Harney (my grandmother) was nearly ten years younger than Max Doerflinger (my grandfather), but that didn't stop Max from trying to get her to go on a date with him. After a few months of resisting, Margaret finally agreed to one date. She was 16 and he was 24.

However, one date quickly turned into two, then three, and soon, Margaret found herself out with Max nearly every weekend. He would take her to underground clubs (which they called speak-easies) every weekend so that they could dance.

But the courtship turned to more intensity as Max began falling more in love with Margaret. He began writing her love poems on the napkins during dinner at the clubs. He began bringing her flowers and new ribbons for her "gorgious blonde curls".

She saved every single napkin that he wrote on and saved every ribbon he ever bought her. She even pressed the flowers he gave her in a book and kept all of this stuff in a medium sized box with two bronze doves kissing eachother, which he made.

After my grandparents died, the box was given to my aunt, Diane. Unfortunately, no one knew that Diane would soon be diagnosed with schizophrenia...and now the napkins are gone.

So while I've never seen these napkins, I know about the love that my grandparents shared during their "honeymoon stage".

Carnival Of Genealogy - 65th Edition: My Happy Dance

The topic for the 65th Edition of the Carnival of Genealogy is to describe your happy dance.

The last time I had my happy dance was last Thursday. A woman who descends from my Keppler line (which is a very difficult line for me) found my cousin Joan's email address on the web. So, she emailed Joan, who tried to forward the email to me, but said my email address didn't work. So she forwarded the email to my Uncle Larry, who then forwarded the email to me.

Once I finally read the email I was estatic. She described meeting "Uncle Max and Aunt Marie" (my great-grandparents) once as a child...my heart began racing. Then the email went on to describe the immigration record she found (which I've been desperately searching for but haven't been able to find). Finally, I couldn't contain myself and I bursted out in what I can only describe as a girl-ish squeel.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend was in the kitchen making breakfast. "You okay?"

But I didn't have a chance to respond. The more I read the email the more excited I got. I continued my girl-ish squeel but added some quick arm movements in there too.

"Should I call an ambulance?" he finally yelled out.

I finally finished the email, jumped from my chair and began cheering happily. I had finally found a Keppler cousin - after years of hard work I had finally found someone who was also descended from the Kepplers AND to add the delicious cherry to the top of already enormous ice cream sundae: SHE HAD INFORMATION. And she was more than willing to share and had so many wonderful questions about the Doerflingers. Finally...I had been dreaming of this day for years.

So I ran into the kitchen screaming with joy and jumped right into my boyfriend's arms. I was so happy and excited and squeeling for joy.

I can't wait for my cousin to send me copies of the stuff she has. I've been waiting for ages to finally find someone who knew about and cared about the Kepplers. She has information on things that I didn't even know about. And, she has lots of genealogists in the family: Herself (who is learning and the newbie), her daughter (waiting for an email response), and her cousin (who has the family bible I never knew about).

Personally, it doesn't take much to make me do the genealogy happy dance. I love every detail in genealogy, no matter how small.

Wow - Grandma Doerflinger Was An Amazing Woman

Today, my mom and I were watching a show about the amazing heroic things that people have done.  My mom and I started discussing some of the heroic things we've seen and heard about.

"It is ordinary people that seem to do some of the most heroic things.  It is like how Grandma Doerflinger lifted a car because there was a man trapped underneath it," she said.

"Excuse me?" I said in disbelief.

"You've never heard that story?" she asked.  Then she started telling me the story.

It was 1940 in Santa Monica, California.  My grandma was home alone with her three children, all under the age of five.  Her husband was working at McDouglas Airplane Factory.  A family friend as over, fixing the car.

My grandma had just gotten the twins (my uncles) down for a nap when she decided to offer some lemonade to the family friend who was working on the car.  When she approached him, he was adjusting the cinderblocks that was lifting the car from the ground.  After some small talk, he slipped himself underneath the car and continued his work.  She turned to return to the house when the cinderblocks slipped and the car came crashing back down on top of the man working on the car.

My grandmother screamed for him, but when he didn't answer she began screaming wildly.  An older gentleman who was walking by the house ran over to my grandmother to aid her.  She then bent down and lifted the car while the older gentleman pulled the family friend out from under the car.

The story goes that for two weeks my grandmother had to stay in bed.  She couldn't move and had severely pulled about every muscle in her body.

The family friend was lucky to survive and only suffered from some broken ribs and a concussion.

I honestly find this to be a rather heroic act and something that she certainly didn't have to do.  It was such a selfless act and it gave me an insight into the grandma I never knew.

Think That Message Board Post Won't Help? Think Again!

Last night, I realized that I hadn't posted to a genealogy message board in a long while.  These message boards are valuable resources, and should never be ignored.  So, I found my three most difficult ancestors and posted some information/queries about each ancestor on their respective surname board on Genealogy.com

After posting my first message on the Doerflinger message board (which has less ten total messages on the entire board), Genealogy.com gave the suggestion that I post the information/query on the three region boards that are respective to the regions I named in my post.  I thought this was a good idea, and a great way to get my information/queries seen and responded to.

Sure enough, I checked my email this morning, and a lovely man had responded to one of my posts on the Missouri board about my ancestor, Adolph Doerflinger.  While he was not related, he did a quick search for me and posted a couple of possible matches.  After looking at these possible matches and checking on Ancestry to make sure everything was correct, I found out that all of these records matched my needs.  He even got me proof of the names for the next generation.

Needless to say, I was THRILLED!  I did my little happy dance before entering the data into my database and citing all of my sources.  How kind of him to take time out of his day to help me.

I want you guys to experience that joy too - so I've included some tips on how to get your post noticed, so that you have a higher chance of someone seeing and responding to your post.

1.) Post your query to not only the surname board, but also to any state boards or country boards that would go with your ancestor.  For example, if you know your ancestor was born in Missouri, but moved to Iowa and California, but post your query in all three state boards.  By spreading your message to multiple boards, you are more likely to be seen and get a response.

2.) Make your title or subject descriptive.  Try adding the person's name and birth date, along with the name of the spouse if known.  For example: Adolph Doerflinger (1851 - 1950ish) m1. Augusta Baumeister (1850 - 1921).  Don't write generic titles/subjects such as "searching for family", "need help with family tree", or "brick wall".  Put yourself in the shoes of prospective readers; most are looking for a specific post, and they aren't going to search through those generic titles to see if they match what they are looking for.

3.) Give some real information.  Just giving a person's name isn't enough, because that doesn't give anyone a time period to work with.  Give the person's name, along with any variations in spellings.  Talk about when and where the person was born, married, and died.  Talk about where that person lived and when.  Discuss any siblings (even if they are only possible siblings) and parents' names if known.  It is also suggested that you include some information on the spouse and any children in the post.  Some people recommend that you talk about what records you've already found (for example, you might have found that person in the 1880 census) so that if anyone decides to help you by doing a quick search, they don't waste time by searching what you already have.

4.) Finally, be polite.  Any help that anyone offers is out of their good graces.  They don't have to help you - it is out of the kindness of their heart and it is best not to take advantage of that.  Always say "thank you".

Update, January 11, 2009: When I posted my query about Adolph Doerflinger to the state message boards (Missouri, Iowa, and California), I was not expecting much.  However, I was in for a shock.  A complete stranger from the Missouri message board left me a reply that included information (along with sources) that he had found while doing a search for me.  Thanks to him, I was able to find the marriage record that I've been looking for and couldn't find - because of a misspelling.  And just this afternoon, I recieved a reply from my post on the California board.  This person found Adolph's and his second wife, Elizabeth's obituary and death records, with sources.  I still have to go through the obituaries and death records to confirm, but from first glance, they look rather promising.   This only re-affirms that putting your information on these stateboards is crucial.  If I had this much success from complete strangers who are not even related - then think of what you could find...

Can There Be Two Of The Same Census?

Why indeed - there can be two of the same census. The way this works is that the area was enumerated twice. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen and I have one such case in my family tree.

My great great grandfather Adolph Doerflinger and his wife, Augusta, lived in St. Louis, Missouri in 1880. Both had immigrated from Germany and they owned and operated a boarding house/bar. They lived there with thier only son, Max and multiple boarders.

Well, when I did the search for Adolph, I discovered two entries on Ancestry's 1880 census database. So, I began looking at their index and sure enough - both entries listed a wife as "Augusta Doerflinger" and a son as "Max Doerflinger". Adolph was listed in both entries as being born in 1851 in Germany (one actually said Baden). One said that he was a boardhouse keeper and another said a bar keeper.

So I looked at the dates of enumeration for both - and I found out that both were indeed the same person - with a lot of the same boarders listed. However - one enumeration was done in June of 1880 and the other in November of 1880.


I don't expect it happens often, but it obviously happens enough where us genealogists need to keep our eyes out for it.

Teacher Of The Year

As I was packing all of the vast amounts of pictures, newspaper clippings, and old letters that I have recieved over the years from family member, I came across a newspaper clipping about my Uncle Dudley.


My Uncle Dudley was a teacher for many, many years. He taught in the U.S. as well as overseas in Spain, Morrocco, and Germany. He taught everything from kindergarten to high school, and even served as a high school counselor at one point. He had a Masters in Education from California State Los Angeles...his life and passion was with children.


He had a way of breaking the rules with teaching, and yet coming out on top. He went above and beyond the standards of being a teacher...


I remember being a kid and discovering a photo album full of pictures of children and a classroom. I started asking him questions and he was very enthusiastic as he answered my questions. This photo album in particular was of a kindergarten class he taught in Pasadena, California. He showed me a picture of the "reading corner" which included a Morroccan rug to sit on, pillows from spain, and hand carved bookshelves with a lion's head carved into the corner. It was magnificent and beautiful how he incorporated his travels in with his classroom. He made learning a fun adventure - something to be embraced.


I then learned that this was a photo album of only one of his years of teaching. He had one album for each year and class. In the back of the albums he had letters and pictures that his former students had sent them as they got older.


That dedication and passion for children and teaching is what earned him the Teacher Of The Year Award in California. His write up in the paper is what I found:


It was probably him and the rest of the teachers in my family (another uncle, an aunt, my grandparents taught odd classes at a community college, and my cousin) who inspired me to become a teacher. Since I was in kindergarten, I've wanted to become a teacher. I guess it is in my blood to be one.


He touched so many people throughout his life as a teacher: I met my best friend because of him. I was in 7th grade and a girl next to me was talking to a small group of her friends about how her mom had had this teacher who had the weird last name of Doerflinger. All of the girls began laughing and I marched over there angry and told them that my last name was Doerflinger. They all looked at me with shock on their face, and made me pull out my school ID card to prove that I wasn't just kidding. I then told her that I had lots of people in my family who were teachers and sure enough - my Uncle Dudley was her mom's teacher. Ever since, we've been best friends.


At his Celebration Of Life, people came from all over the country to honor him. We had 6 tables of people who were only his students, and tables upon tables full of cards from those that couldn't make it. So many of his former students stood up to speak and told the stories of how he had been such a wonderful teacher and mentor to them. One person spoke of how Dudley had saved his life when he was depressed in high school. Another person spoke of how Dudley had gotten him into a loving foster care because his home life was not good. Everyone had wonderful things to say about him.


As I go through college persuing my dream of becoming a teacher, I think of him and his passion for teaching. I know that if someday I am a fraction of how good he was - I will be proud. He is what I strive to someday be.

Hilarious Pictures Of My Family

While I was searching through the old photos today (getting sidetracked from packing), I discovered a hilarious picture of my grandpa and I when I was a baby. I then remembered that there was yet another Genea-Bloggers Carnival on funny images - and I knew I just had to share it.





Now, this picture was taken in 1989, when I was only a few months old. My mom took me to visit my grandpa in the hospital. He was sick and suffering from Alzhiemers, but seeing me seemed to brighten up his days since my grandma had passed away the year before. The family often gathered around his bedside, bringing him trinkets and asking him to tell stories from his childhood.

In the picture, you'll see my aunt holding me as she sat on my grandpa's bed. Look closely at what my grandpa is reading - it is pretty funny!





Did you see it?! When I first discovered this picture a few years back (I was about 11), I was all giggles. When she told me that she was the one who bought it for her, my expression turned to shock and suprise. (If you can't tell what it is - he is reading a Playboy Magazine...Blogger seemed to make the picture blurry)



"Well, what else do you get an old man who is dying?!" she replied.

Alright - so there you have it. My submission for a funny picture.

The Tiki-Baki

Every toddler has that one object that brings the feeling of safety and security. For some kids its a teddy bear or a blanket that is dragged through everyday life like a best friend. For other kids it is a Binky that is only used when unsure situations occur.

As a toddler, I had my security blanket which I called "My". The blanket went with me everywhere and my parents had to beg me to wash it. As the years went by, the blanket became more and more tattered, dirty, and ripped.

My parents finally decided that it was time that I let go of my blanket (My mother still tells me how disgusting the thing got). I completely disagreed. They tried telling me that it was important to be a "big girl" and they tried big "goodbye parades", but nothing was going to sway me.

During my parents' desperate attempt to rid me of the blanket, I went to spend a weekend up in Pasadena with my uncle Dudley. I loved spending time with him at his house because he spoiled me just like a grandparent would (My grandparents died before or right after I was born). His house was big, beautiful, and completely magical to my imaginative self.

I was dropped off at his house as usual and I waved goodbye to my parents as they drove off. Everything was going well until I tripped in the backyard. While I wasn't injured, I went to reach for my blanket. When I couldn't find it - I began to panic.

I searched the entire house in a panic and I began crying heavily. My uncle finally took me into a big hug and pulled out a small square of fabric. He told me that it was his security blanket, which he called his "Tiki-Baki". He took it with him when he traveled and he left it in his bedside table while he was home. He said that it was okay to keep my blanket if I wanted to, but that I would have to learn to be okay without it.

That story is one of my favorite memories of my Uncle Dudley, who passed away last year. At his Celebration of Life, we all saw his Tiki-Baki for the last time. While his ashes were spread among many of his favorite locations, his Tiki-Baki was placed inside a small photo album where it can be remembered forever.

The point of this story is to get you to think about the meaningful items in your family...and then to write about them. I know that if I found a journal entry that my ancestor had wrote about an item that meant so much to them, then I can only to do favor for my descendants.